Louise's Tears
by reylrit
Summary: What if Louise can't take any of Saito's endless flirting with Siesta anymore? What if, for the first time in her life, she stepped down to let Saito have his happiness with Siesta? Is Saito's love for Louise real as he had professed?
1. The Scene

Disclaimer: Zero no Tsukaima does not belong to me.

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**Louise's Tears**

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There they are again, flirting with each other like nobody's business.

Louise had woken up and had expected her familiar to be sleeping by her side. The past few days after he had confessed his love for her had been like a dream come true. She felt as if she was walking on air, knowing that the person she liked had come to reciprocate her feelings.

Saito had been incredibly sweet the past few days. It was like he treated her unlike that of a fierce master, but rather like a, Louise blushed, a lover.

She had woken up, with the expectations of finding herself wrapped tightly around Saito, with his arms possessively wrapped around her waist. She liked moments like these the most, when none of them were talking. Being in the silence together and just enjoying the moment of being wrapped around each others' warmth, this is what Louise liked best, even more so than her favourite Cookberry Pie.

But what is this scene before her? Saito and the maid, Siesta, are so evidently flirting openly with each other. They seemed to be in a little world of their own, one which no one, not even Louise as Saito's master and as the girl he professed his love to, could attempt to break into.

Oh how much did Louise want to just march up right there confidently like ever before in the past and just whip Saito till she's satisfied! How much did she want to just go interrupt them and give Siesta the meanest and hardest glare she could muster!

Louise looked on from the sidelines, hidden by a rock pillar. She heard their laughter, Siesta's one clear and twinkling, full of feminine charm. Saito's one full of warmth and joy, it seemed as though it came straight from his heart, as though... as though, he really enjoyed this.

Then just when Louise had thought that they might really be just chatting with each other happily with no real intentions of flirting, Siesta reached her hand out and touched Saito lightly on his forearm, her head cocked to one side cutely, her face an expression of rapt attention to whatever Saito was saying. It was done so innocently, so inconspicuously, that anyone else watching would thought that it was just a natural reaction to what Saito had said. But Louise knew better. She saw the hidden intent that the maid has, she saw through her, her tactics, her ploy, her fake saccharine sweet smile.

The last straw came when Siesta, after listening to Saito's joke, laughed cheerily and proceeded to place both her hands on his shoulders and then hugging him while laughing in mirth when Saito said something again. Apparently stunned at first due to Siesta's display of affection but quickly recovering, Saito hugged her back good naturedly.

Louise bit back the urge to drag the two away from each other. If she did this now, she would seem like a third party, like _she_ was the one who broke Saito and Siesta up. But yet she could not bring herself to look on as the scene unfolds itself. Saito and the maid were just... just too close together, she couldn't stand it.

Bubbling anger that rose up quickly in her swiftly went away as fast as it first rose. In its place was a mixture of sadness... and hurt.

Turning her head around, Louise walked away swiftly, her footsteps gaining in speed as each second went past. But despite the growing distance between her and the place where Saito and the maid are at, why is it that she still could see them smiling at each other? Why is it that their happy laughter together seemed to ring on and on in her ears? And why is it that the scene of them hugging each other so intimately could never go away from her mind even when she wanted it to?

Why is it that she and Saito couldn't be like how he is with Siesta? When he's with Siesta, he's evidently more relaxed, he could laugh freely, joke with her freely, hug her freely. But when he's with herself, he seemed to be on edge, as though he was scared of saying the wrong things, as though he was afraid of her wrath, afraid of... her.

Louise knew that she was not as ladylike as Siesta. Should they were put side by side together in the fine clothes of nobles, most people, heck, all people would assume that Siesta is the more refined of the two nobles. They might even think that Louise is the imposter, what with her unrefined and unladylike gestures and attitudes. With the way she was always letting herself get into a fit of anger easily, and with the way she kept chasing Saito around and beating him up, it would be a miracle should someone even want to marry her. And it was a no wonder that Saito would prefer the busty maid over her, his flat-chested master, as he once said of her before.

Unbidden tears came even when she willed herself to hold them in. A few escaped and seeing the horses' stable, she quickly rushed in one of the cubicles and hid herself among the hay. It was fortunate that the students would only have use of the horses next week, during their special training on horseback. She could not afford to let a single soul see her like this, not when she was in such a state. To think that she, Louise Francois de la Valliarre, a lady of high noble birth, would be hiding out among the hay of a horse's stable and crying her heart out, all because of a commoner and a maid. What did she ever do to deserve this?

She thought that his declaration of love for her is real. She thought that the serious expression he had when he said those unforgettable words had been for real, that he had been most sincere, that he had really meant that he loved her, very much. But now her faith in him was wavering traitorously.

She knew that she was actingout of jealousy, that her heart was hurting all due to her one sided jealousy. The rational part of her mind had been whispering to her that it was not what she thought, that they were not flirting, that they were just having fun with each other innocently. Yet because of this possibility that she had misunderstood Saito, because of the fact that she had taken to anger so quickly and thus her love for him might not be as strong as she had thought it to be, she hated herself more. She hated herself for imagining things, she hated herself for thinking herself to be inferior to a mere maid, she hated herself for doubting Saito's words and lastly, she hated herself for even falling in love with such a lecherous man.

How many times had she seen scenes similar to the one she saw just now? Everywhere they went, Saito would always find other girls to be beautiful, attractive and desirable. His eyes would always see the girl beside her, other than herself and his eyes would always sparkle due to them, not for her, never for her.

Oh how she longed for him to look at her the way he looked at all those busty, attractive women! But deep down inside, she knew that it was impossible, for she possessed none of those impressive curves of the mature and beautiful ladies and none of that easy grace they carry themselves with. For someone with zero feminine charm, it was impossible. Impossible for her to hold a candle to all the other girls. Impossible for her to capture Saito's heart. Impossible for her to hold Saito's interest for long.

Yes, the truth hurts. Saito, being her familiar, would always be bounded to her due to an agelong tradition of Void mages and their gandalfds. So in short, he would be bounded to her whether he liked it or not. Louise realised that though she loved him, loved him so much that it hurt to see him with other girls, she had to set him free. Free to pursue any other girl that he desired so, free to do whatever he wanted without having to suffer her wrath, free to live his own life apart from her.

Yes, it hurt her, the thing that she was about to set out to do. She was going to give Saito his freedom back despite the aching pain in her heart. It was true that Gandalfds were needed to buy their masters time so as to let them recital the long spells for Void magic. But this only applied when the Gandalfds actually felt it necessary to do so due to their utmost loyalty to their Masters. For Louise's case, Saito was probably only doing it out of gratitude for her, not due to loyalty and definitely not due to love.

There, having her decision made, Louise stood up and cleared away the haysticks that stubbornly clinged onto her clothes. With a tinge of dismay, Louise realised that she smelled, of horses and hay. Great, just when she thought she had some bit of dignity in her left. Kami-sama must really hate her.

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Author's Note: This story is going to be a tri-shot. But for this chapter I don't know if it's long winded or not, especially the part where Louise is contemplating things on her own. I wanted to write her feelings as explicitly as I could since I was tired of the angry responses the anime always give her. I wanted her to feel hurt and sadness other than burning anger each time. Tell me if this rests well with you by reviewing! I would appreciate it very much if you could! So, review and tell me what you think!


	2. Confrontation

Disclaimer: Zero no Tsukaima does not belong to me.

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**Louise's Tears**

**Part II**

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Louise walked back to her bedroom, with a mind to complete that which she had already decided to do. The walk back, if possible, was tortorous. She would end her relationship as Master and Familiar with Saito soon and that thought alone is making her heart squeeze.

Damn, it hurts so much, thought Louise to herself, as she struggled to contain the tears that threatened to fall over the rims of her eyes. But then it's something which Louise thought that she must do, for the sake of not hurting herself anymore than she already was. She knew that she wouldn't be able to bear seeing Saito acting intimately with another girl again. Saito was the one she had already admitted to herself silently in her heart that she was in love with. It was unfortunate that out of the many much more eligible young gentlemen out there, she had to fall in love with someone with such a complicated background. Furthermore, she had to contend with the general frowning upon by the majority of the nobles on the issue of marriages between nobles and commoners. Her own parents had even thought it a shame upon their family's name to have Louise marry someone below their rank in the social hierachy. Now, she was going to do them a favour by sending Saito away. Perhaps she wouldn't go as far as to go marry another noble fit for their family's name, but by not liaisoning with Saito, a 'mere commoner', she was a step closer to being the kind of daughter her parents expected of her.

Despite her love for Saito, it would be better this way, to break it off between them. Too many forces were hindering their relationship and coupled with the pain of seeing Saito act intimately with another girl such as Siesta, Louise felt that should she be weighed down by anymore of these stresses her relationship with Saito had brought her, sooner or later she would either run away from it all or just crawl away and hide from the world.

Louise reached her bedroom. Her door was closed, something unusual since she remembered that she had accidentally left it open just now while she went out to take a breather. Perhaps Saito had helped her close it and was now inside taking his afternoon nap. Well, better get it done and over with, thought Louise as she pushed open the heavy oak door... only to find Saito in a compromising position with the girl she didn't want to see most, Siesta.

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Siesta knocked on the door, certain that that owner of the bedroom, Louise, was not in her own room right now. This means that Saito was inside, alone. Without any other _distractions_, Siesta was sure that she would be able to finally improve on her progress with Saito. She fixed her sweetest smile on her face as she stood there patiently, waiting for her beloved to open the door.

Saito heard the knock and smiled to himself. Louise had gone for such a long time, he was wondering where had she disappeared to. He walked to the door and opened it smilingly.

"Louise, where'd..." his words stopped in midair when he realised who it was.

"Ah, it's you Siesta."

Siesta seemed to have not heard Saito calling Louise's name, or rather, she had pretended not to. Showing off her pearly whites, Siesta came swiftly into the room and placed the tray she had been holding down on the table. Seeing that Saito was still at the door, looking out as though he was looking for someone, Siesta wrapped her arms around Saito's and gently pulled him towards the table.

"Saito-san! Look at what I've made you! It's your favourite miso soup from your homeland!" Siesta chirpped.

Saito looked surprised for a moment.

"You actually made it? I had only provided you with some vague instructions on how to make it!"

Siesta bowed her head a little, her eyes looked shyly away from Saito.

"Yes, the ingredients were quite uncommon but I managed to find them. And I've improvised on it a little myself. Hope you'll like it!"

After saying, Siesta scooped the soup up with a spoon she had brought as well and brought it close to Saito.

"Come, let me feed you, Saito-san! Say ahhhh..."

Feeling that he had no choice but to oblige, since Siesta was already holding the spoon full of hot miso soup dangerously to his mouth, Saito opened his mouth grudgingly and tasted it.

For a moment Saito's expression was inscrutable and Siesta wrung her the material of her dress nervously, awaiting his verdict. Then a grin broke out on Saito's face and he exclaimed,

"That was the _best_ miso soup I've ever tasted Siesta! It's a little different from that of my homeland's, but somehow, I seem to like yours better!"

An utter look of delight appeared on Siesta's face and she scooped more of the soup to resume her previous task of feeding her beloved. But before she got it past Saito's mouth, the heavy oak door was flung open suddenly.

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Louise could not believe her eyes. Here they were, in _her_ room no less, with Siesta flirting so blatantly with Saito. I mean, why couldn't she just leave Saito to feed himself? Somehow seeing this scene had strengthened her resolve to break off her relations with Saito. She would not tolerate any more kinds of flirtations coming from Siesta, nor from any other girls. She had had enough of it.

Angrily, Louise flung the oak door open and glared mercilessly at the shameless couple. Her petite frame was trembling due to the extreme anger that she was trying to supress. She would deal with her emotions later on, after she had dealt with both Siesta and Saito. Now was not the time to explode. If she lose control of her feelings now, things would never get an appropriate ending as they ought to.

Saito seemed taken aback, seeing Louise's angry form standing stiffly in front of him. He was just about to go forward and ask her what had caused her to be so angry when Siesta acted before he did.

Siesta put down the bowl of miso soup on the table and immediately wrapped her arms around one of Saito's. While leaning softly against Saito, she said in the sweetest voice she could muster,

"Ara! If it isn't our dear Louise-sama who's back! Tsk tsk, Louise-sama, you should pay more attention to Saito! You left him all by himself in here while you went off to somewhere else. Look, he's so lonely that he's asked me to keep him company!"

After saying, Siesta leaned even more into Saito's side intimately, her head resting on his shoulder. With her eyes closed and a small smile appearing on her face, she seemed as though she had every right to be there next to Saito, as though she was the most contented woman in the world being with him like this.

Saito looked quizzedly at Siesta. Why was she acting this way towards him, especially when Louise was now in front of them? Looking at Louise's face which seemed as though she was about to break down, Saito realised that he had to do something quickly before the building got burnt and exploded.

With much effort as seeing how much Siesta had clung to him, Saito disengaged himself from her and stepped forward promtly to Louise, ignoring Siesta's sounds of protest, and tried to raise his hands to comfort her.

To his surprise, Louise flinched when he touched her shoulders and immediately took a step back, just like a scalded cat. She lifted her head up and looked Saito in the eye. Such complex feelings were locked in the emotional gaze she gave him. It was a mix of sadness, pain and anger. But most prominent of all, was the feeling of hurt. The last time he saw this emotion in her eyes was probably the time when he just got to know her, while she was still being laughed at and jeered upon by her schoolmates.

Louise walked away from Saito, up to Siesta. Siesta shrank back a little upon seeing Louise's expression. With tear-filled eyes, Louise was looking at her as though... as though she was the vermin itself. This is weird, thought Siesta, usually Louise just directed her anger towards Saito whenever she caught her flirting with him. But looking at Louise now, Siesta finally realised that Louise might have been on her breaking point right now. Damn, she should have waited until Louise had gone away for a longer period of time before she went to find Saito. Now, with Louise slowly raising one trembling hand high above her head, Siesta was sure that she was going to get one tight slap from her.

But just when Siesta had expected the slap to come, Louise let out a muffled sob and instead of slapping her, Louise dropped her hand to her side. Mustering her voice and trying to make it sound as normal as possible, as though she wasn't tearing up before, Louise said,

"Now Siesta, would you please kindly leave my room right now? I have something important to discuss with Saito. After that, you're feel to do whatever you want with him."

Siesta thought she had heard wrongly. Glancing up at Louise, Siesta thought that she must have been imagining Louise's pain-filled eyes just a moment before. Because right now at this instance, Louise looked pretty composed. Sure she was still breathing rather heavily but she no longer looked angry or sad. Instead she looked rather... blank, as though she was feeling nothing. Nothing at all.

Getting up quickly, confused by the sudden change that had overcome Louise, Siesta lef the room, closing the door behind her. But before she left, she made sure to send Saito another flirtatious wink. Someone once told her that she has to fight for the man she loves. She was just taking every chance there was to fight for Saito. And what _exactly _was so wrong with that?

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Louise stood stiffly, waiting for the door to be closed. She was looking at the ground, as though there was something there that caught her eye. Her head hung low, with her long pink curls blocking her face from Saito's view.

Saito stood up from the bed. He had never seen Louise acting like this before him. Always, whenever she caught him with another girl, she would blow up and whip him around to vent her frustration. But now, the silent Louise before him was definitely not the one he was used to. She seemed to be rather out of sorts at this moment.

Saito decided to say something to break the icy tension that was steadily building up in the room.

"Hey... Louise! Erm... what's for dinner tonight?"

That lame question was the only one he could think of under the pressure. And he felt even more lame himself as the seconds ticked by, with Louise still looking at the ground and not responding. After what seemed like a never ending silence, Louise finally looked up.

Saito was slightly surprised at the straight look Louise gave him, just as she lifted her head up. She seemed perfectly normal, as though nothing had happened at all just now, as though she did not nearly raise her hand to slap Siesta.

Louise walked over to the table and pulled out a chair. What she said next surprised Saito even further.

"Mr. Saito, please take a seat."

For a moment Saito thought he had heard wrongly. Louise... being so polite with him? He glanced more closely at Louise's expression, or rather the lack of an expression, since she was looking completely calm and composed, as though this was just a regular day like any other.

Saito took the seat Louise offered him and as much as he liked to remain as composed as possible, he could not stop his hands from fidgeting as he tolerated more of that icy silence that was beginning to settle around them again.

Louise picked up the teapot with freshly brewed black tea in it and was just about to serve it when Saito stood up suddenly, wanting to take over from her the job which he was already used to.

To make matters worse, in his haste to help Louise, he accidentally knocked over the teapot that she was holding. Furthermore, to his utmost horror, the hot tea spilled onto Louise's hand, scalding her skin.

"Louise! I'm so sorry, are you alright?"

Wanting to see how bad the scald is, Saito tried to take hold of Louise's hand but the moment he touched her hand, she flinched, as though she was being scalded a second time. The Louise he had known might be violent at times, but she had never once flinched from his touch like this before. It was as though... as though she detested his touch.

Dismissing his help, Louise walked over to the bathroom and helped herself to a piece of wet cloth to cool the affected area. Returning to the dining table, she sat down and indicated Saito to do so as well.

Saito saw a glance of the reddened skin while Louise was tapping the scald gently using the damp cloth. He was worried for Louise, knowing that she had particularly sensitive skin which could get sunburnt easily in the mid day sun. But this would come in second place compared to the strange behaviour Louise is exhibiting currently.

Louise wrung the edge of her skirt, refraining from biting her lips as well to ease her growing nervousness. She had been debating within herself whether or not should she proceed with what she had planned earlier on. She knew that if she just looked at Saito straight in the face she would be rendered incapable of speaking the words she had been rehearsing since just now. Thus keeping her gaze away from Saito's probing eyes, Louise spoke,

"Saito, let's unbind the magical contract tying you to me as a familiar."

Surprised at Louise's sudden proposal, Saito nearly spat out the hot tea he was trying to drink.

"Unbind? What do you mean by 'unbind'?"

Trying to keep her voice as calm as possible, Louise said,

"The contract made between a master and a familiar is not all that irreversible. In fact, all it takes is a fairly simple process. And of course, the determination of the familiar and its master to break off all ties with each other contributes greatly to the speed of the process too..."

Before Louise could finish her sentence, Saito abruptly stood up and grabbed Louise by her shoulders.

"What is this that you are saying again, Louise? Explain to me clearly what you plan to do!"

Slightly taken aback at Saito's outburst, Louise bent her head further down as she fought to remain composed while giving Saito a satisfactory answer.

"Simply said, it is just the breaking off of ties between a familiar and its master, giving the familiar as well as its master the freedom to go on with their own lives without intruding upon the lives of each other. Sometimes when a master finds a familiar too unsuitable for his or her lifestyle, or vice versa..."

Once again, without waiting for Louise to complete her sentence, Saito interrupted again.

"No I'm not trying to ask about the explanations regarding the contract unbinding process. I'm asking, why is it that you want to go ahead and unbind our magical contract with each other?"

A hard question indeed. Louise had been hoping that the situation would not develop to this stage. Now, she would have to keep her cool more than ever in order not to lose it in front of Saito. Settling this would be her most important priority right now, letting out of her feelings and having a good cry would come after that.

"You are looking far too deep into this, Saito. This is only a simple proposal for us to break our contract together. It is not a matter of life or death. Such decisions have to made sometimes in life and none of us could have avoided them..."

Taking hold of Louise's chin, Saito forced her head to straighten and face him. He had noticed that while speaking all this time, Louise had been pointedly refusing to meet his gaze directly. Now he knew the reason. It was because she had been trying to hold her tears in, all this while.

Being forced to divert her gaze to Saito's onyx orbs, Louise could sense the questions that are present in his eyes, as well as the concern that was evident in them.

"Why are you speaking of this suddenly? The last time I checked, there wasn't any indication that you wanted to break off our contract and for us to lead separate lives. In fact, we were just getting along fine with each other!"

The slight agitation Saito was feeling seemed to be rubbing off on her as well. But Louise forced herself to keep her emotions remain under her carefully composed cover. For her plan to smoothly go through, she could not afford to let up at the crucial moment.

Louise stared straight into his eyes, those eyes full of never ending darkness, yet the kindest eyes she had ever known, the only ones she had ever allowed to look into her soul, as well as the ones soon to know the meaning of betrayal.

"Well, this is where you are quite wrong actually, Mr. Saito. One does not have to discuss about his plans or intentions before making a decision and announcing it to the others. If you want to continue being so obstinate about this, then I shall provide you with my reason as to this particular decision."

Standing up and walking a few steps away from Saito, Louise turned around and looked at him with the coldest expression she could muster.

"I'm sorry but... I just don't love you anymore, Saito."

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Note to readers: I've actually written the most part of this a short time after writing the first chapter. But I just couldn't find enough motivation to finish it. After a few years, I was surprised to still get a few reviews now and there. A big thank you to those who read and bothered to leave a review. They are constant reminders for me to stop sitting on this for so long and to get my ass back to finishing it. Thanks again for your kind appreciation and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. (Again, leave a review behind to tell me how you feel!)


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